Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
