I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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