i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
