you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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