Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
