I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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