I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
