Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
