Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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