i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I fill condoms, not promises.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
