One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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