1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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