There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
