...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
