He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
