i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
