wat bout pragnant strippers??
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize