i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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