taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So here I am, sexting at work.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize