Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
