I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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