Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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