you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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