if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
