i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
