so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
that's an acceptable place to lick
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
