You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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