i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
