So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
