oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
