I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
