I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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