I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
