so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Randomize
