but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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