If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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