You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
