last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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