I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
