I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
