Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
