hell yes lets make some ravioli
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
