we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize