If i come over, it means nothing
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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