Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She bit a glass in half.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
