garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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