sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
