I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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