Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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