I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
