loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
