Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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