I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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