Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
