We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
