I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
