watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
