why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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