I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
