Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
