yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
