If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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