i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
