i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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